Goals for the New Year and a happy book!

So I broke down and got a book yesterday... not the book I was planning on buying (the new Stephanie Plum), but another book. I am so happy that I got this one, it's called Skinny Dipping... so GOOD!! I am almost done with it, but I am going to wait and finish it tomorrow because I have nothing to do and I have to get up for work in seven hours. Yuck! Today at work I sat down and started writing out my new year's list. It doesn't make that much sense but at the time my brain was fried thinking about different games to play for spring break and Easter. I have decided though to go and buy two journals, one for my thoughts and one to be an art journal. I am hooked on the craftypod and Ihanna websites, and they have given me a place to start. The journal I have now was started on Sept. 12, 2001 and only has different quotes that I have found and liked over the years. I don't really have a place to write down my thoughts and keep it forever. I have decided that I need one. Tonight while talking on the phone I have realized that I am at a HUGE cross roads in my life and I have to take a very big and scary step off that unseen cliff into the unknown. I will be scared, sad, very alone, cry a lot, and it will break my heart, but I can't do what I am doing to someone. It is just plain mean and cruel and I will never be forgiven, that it why I have waited oh so too long to do what I need to do. I have to live my life, but oh so more than that I have to let them have theirs, I have stopped happiness from happening to someone I care so much about. I guess it just chalks one more mark on my score board of being closer to hell.