Monday, January 14, 2008
So I broke down and got a book yesterday... not the book I was planning on buying (the new Stephanie Plum), but another book. I am so happy that I got this one, it's called Skinny Dipping... so GOOD!! I am almost done with it, but I am going to wait and finish it tomorrow because I have nothing to do and I have to get up for work in seven hours. Yuck! Today at work I sat down and started writing out my new year's list. It doesn't make that much sense but at the time my brain was fried thinking about different games to play for spring break and Easter. I have decided though to go and buy two journals, one for my thoughts and one to be an art journal. I am hooked on the craftypod and Ihanna websites, and they have given me a place to start. The journal I have now was started on Sept. 12, 2001 and only has different quotes that I have found and liked over the years. I don't really have a place to write down my thoughts and keep it forever. I have decided that I need one. Tonight while talking on the phone I have realized that I am at a HUGE cross roads in my life and I have to take a very big and scary step off that unseen cliff into the unknown. I will be scared, sad, very alone, cry a lot, and it will break my heart, but I can't do what I am doing to someone. It is just plain mean and cruel and I will never be forgiven, that it why I have waited oh so too long to do what I need to do. I have to live my life, but oh so more than that I have to let them have theirs, I have stopped happiness from happening to someone I care so much about. I guess it just chalks one more mark on my score board of being closer to hell.
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
So it's a new year... what I am going to do this year? As one of my favorite songs says; 'My mind's not perfect but it's sincere. You'd be amazed what you can achieve in a year. This got me thinking... my year is completely different that most people's. My year starts in May, that is when my contract runs out where I work. What will I have achieved in this year of leaving everyone behind.. did I find myself? did I take the steps I wanted to in my career? have a done all my goals that I set for me? let alone what are my goals? That is what I am going to do this week, along with writing new year's cards, good bye cards, miss you cards, and working on a project for my cousin's new baby. I know that a couple of my goals need to me like where i am going once May comes around, what I need to do to fit into my fav. pair of pants again, and how to budget well everything. I have been listening to Hip Tranquil Chick podcast and re-reading Kimberly Wilson's book with the same title. Also I have been listening to lots of the view, lilly allen, kate nash, feist, and lastly the legally blonde the broadway musical soundtrack. Very odd mix I know... but I just moved a bed (finally! sleeping on a air mattress for 8 months is odd, but last night I couldn't sleep because the bed is too high) and a giant entertainment center into my life. While cleaning the apt. for people to come into it, I started thinking that I might as well start packing again too. I still have about 7 boxes still packed, so we will work from there. Hope today finds you all well! Oh! You need to read Susan Mallery's Saving Gracie! I just got it today and read it... now just waiting for tomorrow to buy the new Stephanie Plum book!