Tuesday, January 18, 2011


It is now 4:30 am and I have been up for a little over an hour. I know what you are thinking, do you have a plane to catch, are you driving somewhere for vacation. The answer I am sad to say is no. I am just stressed out and overwhelmed to the max. I can't sleep, I can't eat because it just makes me sick, and no matter how hard I try to climb out of this sand-trap that I find myself sinking into so fast I can't. 

I at home I have a plan and if I had time and a little help I could get it done, but I am just laying in bed thinking of everything that needs to be done and how I should just get up and do them now. I already feel like crap why just toss and turn all night and bother Jrod. So up I am and one of my cleaning/organizing projects is finished, or at least as done as it can be without making noise. I can't sleep knowing that what needs to be done is just below me downstairs while I lay in bed.

At work I am just stuck, my list keeps building; which I in no way mind but I need some help. When I try and divide up what needs to be done to my staff they say they do it but don't so my half my day is spent doing what they should have done on my day off. A good amount of the time I wander if I should even take days off. Why bother, it's just more work for me what I come back. I have a plate full already and I can't just get a giant project thrown on me that could be done over time and instead must be done in a day. All of my other work just gets pushed to the wayside and I have to pick something that is not going to get done by it's due date. I already know what it is going to be, and I will be getting yelled at for it but my other projects are more important, even if they don't see/understand it. I do have to say that at this time of the year I always get overwhelmed this year it is just much, much harder/more and almost double of what I normally get thrown to me. 

I LOVE my job, I have a Passion for my job, really how many people can say that. I just want to be able to do my job and work with amazing good people. I am a joke to most people to whom I work with and they have little or no respect at all for my job. It kind of beats you down after a while, then I interact with amazing people and realize that because of my job they are having a blast. This interaction always gets me through for a while until I just get overwhelmed again. 

I am mentally fried, I need like five days off where I am just home. I can get everything done I have to do, then I can do fun things too. 

Thanks for listening whoever you are.  Off to go and watch my panic attack movie and hopefully I can get 30-40 more minutes of sleep before Jrod gets up for work. This is going to be a very long day.

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